Diane's Diary-ah

I didn't have a great feeling when my contract ended with my employer.  That secure in my job feeling was starting to teeter. Although I did get to work for the same place but just working FOR another contracting company, unfortunately my work has slowed down.  It wasn't too bad until yesterday. I was done my work before lunch and although I asked my new boss about work , he was too busy with problems to let me know if I had any more work to do.  He never got back to me the rest of the day.  Why do people do things that make no sense?  Let's give the one with all the experience at doing the job hardly any files, and the newbies files which create some sort of problems?  Makes zero sense to me. 

The feeling is not good, not good at all.  It is like I've been driving for great distances on and on this road, and although tiring, have gotten many perks, like being able to cover astronomical, unforseen bills and then coming to a stop sign.  BAM!   I was going to pay for the dress (which I put on my charge card) we got for the Miss Texas Teen pageant that Stac is going to be in, but now I feel like I need to save every penny I can and pay very little on that bill which also has some other things on it.

I am hoping that things are not going to slow down to the point for me that I have to look for a job in an office somewhere.  I know tons of people do it, but I am too independent and too used to working at home.  I have no problem working my ass off...just that I want to be doing it from home.  Because I'm not one to sit idle, I did search on the internet for any job openings in processing/underwriting/qc/due diligence, whatever I could do at home. Responded to a few ads, but they all appear to be the kind that they want somebody IN the office right there. 

Maybe it was just an off day and work will pick up again, although there are way too many workers now and not enough work. :(    I have this weekend totally free which is something else I'm not used to.  I am so used to working all or part of the weekend ,that this is strange to me.  I could actually go shopping or see a movie, but that means spending money and I feel like I shouldn't spend any frivilously right now. 

At least it is beautiful out.  Haven't had as many beautiful totally blue sunny skies this year which is odd for this area, but it is beautiful today!   I am going to try to actually relax and just have some down time this weekend...although I have already been perusing the cyber want ads for jobs.  I'm just wanting to supplement what I'm doing if the work is going to be half that it was before.  Okay so for the REST of the weekend I will relax.  ;-)

Seems I do have a mini-friend going on right now too.  Had pretty bad cramps yesterday but not much to show for it. Really weird, but I'll deal with it.  Have my yearly appt coming up in December (if I keep it the same time - right before xmas). Hopefully all will be fine.

Stac has to dance at an October Fest here in town today. Not sure how big of an event it is though because I couldn't find anything about it listed in the community events areas on the web.  At least it gives me something to look forward to this afternoon.

My car is still at the shop and I remembered to call them too late yesterday and got their answering machine. I did leave a message asking about my car. I hope they can fix the problem, because at this point I feel like getting a new car (even at a deaL) is not a smart move with the uncertainty of my income.

Bye for now.

This is the time of year that I really don't care for...I used to dread the shorter days because it meant colder nights and winter's approach. Now that I live in Texas, I don't dread that so much but what I still don't like is when the holidays gets thrust upon us.  No sooner are the kids back in school and all the halloween stuff appears at the stores and it only gets more materialistic from then on until after Christmas.

I am glad that I've been able to see the empty value in being materialistic in this lifetime.  It is not that I don't like nice things, but I just don't need a lot of them, nor feel the need to go shopping very much at all!  Others are not like that and I find it amusing sometimes.  My sister is one of those people on the fast track, working hard but making certain to spoil her one and only son, and keeping up with the Jones at the same time.  She is getting quite the collection of nice 'things' in her house and it actually at times can have a very cluttered feel, even though it is bigger than our house.  She does the 'themes' for her son's bedroom too.....plllleeeaassseee.  I'm not talking about just painting it a color he likes or using a certain wall paper. I'm talking from ceiling to accessories, theming it out (if that is a phrase). But that's what great about this country.  If she's got plenty of money and that is what she wants to do, then she is free to do it.

I decided to be totally honest with her when she invited hub and me to a 'Comedy' club sort of thing to celebrate both our birthdays.  It was something even my hub was not really interested in, and it was down in Austin which is okay but we really don't have the desire to go down there (it is about 30 miles away).  That did not go over really well when I told her we weren't really interested in going and suggested a movie and/or dinner, bite to eat up here in our town and without her son.  If she truly wanted to celebrate our birthdays, I'd rather him not be included. Otherwise he is the focal point of attention and no adult conversation can be had.  It is not 'fun' for me and again, if the point is to celebrate our birthdays...isn't the point doing something that WE want to do?   I don't know, maybe it is ME who is being selfish.  It is a little hard to handle a small kid again, well he just turned 6 so he is getting better...but I'm way beyond little kids at this stage in my life. 

 So....anyway, she is mad and hurt at me. And so I guess we should have just gone to appease her.  I just don't like playing games and thought honesty was the best way to handle it.  It is my 'turn' to respond to her and I haven't yet, but honestly when we moved here, it took 5 or 6 months until she and I went out to a meal alone together and the pedicure she gave me for my birthday last year...didn't take place until like January (as opposed to the previous Sept). Both of these were due to her not having time and scheduling herself to the hilt. So I pretty much gave up on trying to get that sisterly closeness and I've accepted it. 

Okay change of subject. I have one of the nicest vets I know.  He has been letting me call in to check on Tika's progress with her allergies that have been making her feet itch horribly to the point of her chewing them raw. They are doing much better now and he has just been adjusting the meds and having me pick them up ($10 ) and no appointment every time.  He returns calls as he did this morning already from the message I left yesterday.  Now that is a kind vet !!  Not stuck up or too busy to connect.   So glad he is only 5 minutes up the road.

I need to get started on my work day but I did start with that new company doing the same job and unfortunately the pay is cut by about 40% which sucks.  Nobody would like to do the same amount of work for that much less pay, but I have no other choice than to try to look for another job.  That would be slim pickings in this mortgage job market for sure and undoubtedly NOT at home. So I am keeping my trap shut and starting to put feelers out again for processing at home to supplement the income.

I've been starting to feel icky that last few days, thinking my 'friend' was about due but from reading my previous entry it has only been about 2 1/2 weeks.   This peri-menopause stuff sucks.   Well to work for me.